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Aversion: When Something in the Room Feels Hard to Be With
- Vita Pires, Ph.D.
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
Handling Aversion: A Guide for Mindfulness Teachers
There was a class where one participant seemed determined to challenge everything. Not aggressively, precisely, but persistently. Every time I offered a practice, he had a concern. When others shared, he redirected the conversation. When silence arrived, he broke it with commentary about why sitting still didn’t make sense for him. He wasn’t wrong. But he was exhausting the room.
Understanding Aversion in the Mindfulness Classroom
I could feel it in my body before I admitted it to myself. A tightening in my chest. A subtle leaning away. A quiet hope that he wouldn’t speak next. That was aversion. Not dramatic, not explosive — just a steady resistance to what was happening.
Students caught in aversion often don’t experience it as “I don’t like this.” They experience it as irritation, boredom, judgment, or the sense that something is wrong with the practice, the teacher, or the group.
Aversion shows up like this all the time in mindfulness teaching. A student who talks too long. A group that feels disengaged. A tone in the room that’s heavy, angry, or flat. Sometimes the aversion is obvious in students. Sometimes it’s quietly living in us. Either way, when it’s unacknowledged, it starts running the show.
Students caught in aversion often don’t experience it as “I don’t like this.” They experience it as irritation, boredom, judgment, or the sense that something is wrong with the practice, the teacher, or the group. They may feel trapped, defensive, or checked out. And often, they’re ashamed of those reactions because mindfulness spaces can subtly imply that resistance is a failure.
Strategies for Managing Resistance During Practice
Our job isn’t to convince anyone to like what’s happening. It’s to help make aversion visible and workable. In that class, I didn’t confront the student or shut him down. I also didn’t keep pretending everything was fine. Instead, I named what I was noticing in the room — gently and without blame. I said something like, “I’m noticing a lot of energy around what doesn’t work here, and I’m curious what it’s like to just notice that reaction instead of following it.”
Aversion doesn’t disappear when we practice mindfulness. It shows up precisely at the edge of what feels uncomfortable or unwanted.
That shifted something. Not immediately, and not magically. But it changed the tone. The focus moved from debating mindfulness to noticing resistance. Other students started nodding. Someone else shared that they were also irritated but hadn’t wanted to say it out loud. Aversion, once named, stopped being a private struggle.
The Teacher’s Internal Work: Moving from Managing to Relating
For me, the bigger work was internal. I had to stay honest about my own reaction without letting it harden into a stance. Aversion has a way of turning teachers into managers — managing behavior, managing energy, managing the room so we don’t have to feel discomfort. But mindfulness doesn’t ask us to manage experience. It asks us to relate to it.
Aversion, once named, stopped being a private struggle.
When I noticed my own aversion clearly, it softened. Not because the situation changed, but because I stopped fighting it. I could listen again. I could respond instead of react. I could let the student be who he was without making him a problem to solve.
Students learn a great deal from how we handle aversion, even when we never mention the word. They feel when we withdraw. They feel when we get tight. They also feel that when we stay present, without forcing things to be different. That kind of presence communicates openness more than any explanation ever could.
Conclusion: Transforming Aversion into Honest Practice
Aversion doesn’t disappear when we practice mindfulness. It shows up precisely at the edge of what feels uncomfortable or unwanted. Teaching gives us endless opportunities to meet that edge — in ourselves and in others.
When aversion is brought into awareness, it loses its sharpness. The room gets a little more honest. A little more human. And that honesty becomes the ground of real practice.
This is part 3 of a 6-part series on the hindrances. Subsequent articles will be published weekly, so check back next week to read a deep dive on Restlessness.
If you are interested in gaining a more comprehensive understanding of meditation, mindfulness, and how to share these practices with others, consider our Mindfulness Teacher Training (MTT).